Distortions of Love as Distortions of the Self From a Psychosocial Perspective

Abstract

In this dissertation I attempt to synthesize psychology, philosophy, and theology on the issue of love. Five psychological approaches are utilized in an effort to shed light on the psychological aspects of love: the frameworks of Alice Miller, Karen Horney, Conrad Baars and Anna Terruwe, Attachment Theory, and Bowen Family Systems Theory. The psychological construct of the self is utilized as the integrative nexus for the efforts at synthesis. Rationale is offered for this integrative effort, including a theological justification for drawing upon psychology in the examination of a “theological virtue.” Extensive background discussions are offered on the nature of the person, the nature of the self, and the nature of love. A dyadic structure of the person as substance and relation is advocated, though relationality can be subdivided into receptivity and outward communicativity, thereby yielding a triadic structure of the person. Receptivity (being-from) is seen as ontologically prior to being-in-itself and being-toward-others. A three-layered model of the self is proposed, drawing upon concepts of the false self, the real self, and the spiritual True Self. Spatial and temporal metaphors, including the dynamic self-concept, are incorporated in this model. Different forms of love are distinguished, and the relationships among various forms of love are discussed. Ultimately love is understood to be the gift of self to others. Love as gift of self highlights the prerequisite of self-possession. The five psychological approaches are examined and applied to the issue of love. Each approach is analyzed regarding the manner in which it can explain ways in which love becomes distorted or undermined. The approaches are compared and contrasted, identifying parallels and complementarities in order to help develop a more comprehensive perspective. Integration with theology takes place primarily through the identification of the True Self, as well as through the inclusion of addictive attachment as a psychological phenomenon distinct from repression. Theological insights are applied to each psychological approach in order to deepen and expand them, and psychological insights are applied to theology in order that it may be better understood, appropriated, and applied.